Setting Sail

I want to say I loved a guy once, but I’m not sure if it was really love. He chose someone else and I was heartbroken. It is not the first time that has happened. It seems that the guys I like don’t have the same feeling and they choose another girl instead. I would think that maybe there was something wrong with me or maybe he didn’t know because I didn't tell him my feelings. However, even if I didn’t tell him, it should have been obvious. You can never hide your feelings from someone you like. It will show in your face and in your actions. It would most certainly show in your eyes. Whatever the reason, the end of the story did not include me. Every time it happens, I quickly get over it and the only thing that lingers is a broken pride that prolongs the pain. Then over time, those guys would break up with their girlfriend and approach me. I don’t know what they are thinking but my philosophy is that once my heart has set sail; the ship is not returning to the same port. How could I possibly still like someone who chose someone else right in front of me? There was only one guy whom I could say that I would have returned to because I think I came to love him, but that guy never let go of his old feeling. I couldn’t find myself sharing the port with another ship; even if it was just a shadow of a ship. Now he is married and as soon as that day came, I knew my ship sailed without remorse or lingering brokenness. My heart was left intact. Therefore, I question if it was truly love at all. I doubt that to this very day. Maybe in the future, when I really love someone, it might not have the same outcome. As far as I know now, this has been the case. Once my heart has set sail, the ship will not return. If you didn’t choose me then, why would you choose me now? I am still me. You pulled up the anchor when you turned your eyes to someone else. So please don’t be angry or surprised if I refuse you now. I have forgiven you. It doesn’t mean I want to reconcile with you. Don’t chase after something you regret because you will not find any shadow of it left.